How many Nepali's in the UK? "About 10,000."

Can only apologise again for not posting in a long time, 2013 has suddenly become a studious year so I don't find myself writing epic blogs at the moment. However, I do have lots to share, so do check in from time to time :-)

How many Nepali's are in the UK? Every time I get asked that question, for as long as I can remember I have said "about 10,000". I have no idea where the basis of that figure comes from, but as we know, it is waaaaay out of date. Mind you, when I was a wee lad, I could have been confident by broadcasting zero, but hey kids grow up and life is not it seems. So how many Nepali's are in the UK? Some google research:

42,000 in 2010 (According to the Office of National Statistics)
50,000 in 2010 (According to Community Leaders)
5,943 in 2001 (According the 2001 Census)
20,000 in 2008 (some random figure someone echoed to me once)
80,000 in 2012 (Centre for Nepal Studies, Southampton)

Most of those figures are according to Wikipedia, and we all trust Wikipedia right? There might be some creditability in the 2001 Census, but its 2013 now, alot of stuff has happened! Nepali's are everywhere! There are regular civilians, labourers, professionals, ex-Gurkhas, serving Army personnel, security dudes, musicians on tour, illegals, musicians going AWOL etc, so who really knows the real figure (a good estimate at least)? About 10,000?

Omid Djalili portraying the Polish plumber! [5]

I don't know if anyone remembers this, but there was a news article back in January 2013 about Polish now being the 2nd most spoken language in Britain, this "news" made the rounds with the main broadcasters and newspapers at the time, as to surprise people, but it didn't really surprise me. When the Polish were just settling in, there were rumoured to be about 15,000 in my home city, and since then, the Polish have largely integrated quietly in to British Society. I had Polish neighbours once, noisy lot, but vast majority of Polish I have come across are good folks and have a good work ethic - even had a few do some work on my bathroom - nice polite guys. Anyway, I'm digressing.

I went to read into the details of this "new" fact of the Polish language. The origin of this report came from data that was released from the recent 2011 Census. The Guardian, where they have a blog about data, released a cool interactive map, that describes the percentage of people who speak a non-English language in every council district in England and Wales. It's quite neat, you can zoom into the council area where you live and view the top 20 non-English languages spoken in your area. There is also a preselected list of cities and languages and you can view the distribution of non-English languages spoken or where certain languages are spoken.

What was more interesting though, the Guardian released the spreadsheet data behind the information that was driving the interactive map, so I curiously went to have a look to see if Nepali was listed there, expecting no result but the usual 'Other Asian'. Low and behold, there it was, I couldn't believe it, a list of all the council districts in England and Wales and the number of people who declared they spoke Nepali as their first language. Since January 2013, I've meaning to do something useful with the data, so people can make some thing of it. As far as I am aware, I noticed only one public article that took advantage of the information in the spreadsheet data the Guardian released, and it was a reporter by the name of Amy Taylor. Amy used the data on Nepali speakers to highlight in Rushmoor, 6.2% of the Rushmoor population speak Nepali.

Now you must be thinking, wouldn't it be cool if we could go one better and see elegantly where Nepali is spoken in England and Wales. Yes please! It's been two months since the data has been available and I'm surprised no one did anything with the information, but hey who cares about the minority. Some people do!! I have some very crude heatmaps here, and I could develop them further if anyone is interested, but take a look, and see for yourself. Much more sexy and revealing than a set of numbers, right? (Trouble viewing? Try the 'Zoom In' option a few times on your browser)

No. of declared Nepali Speakers as their first and main language in England and Wales (Source: Census 2011) [1]

If you know where the Nepali's mostly congregate, then the above map should reveal no surprises. The dark blue parts are where at least 732 people declared they speak Nepali as their main language, the dark purplish colour is where between 366 and 731 declared they spoke Nepali as their first language, and then the really faint light purple is where between 0 and 365 declared they spoke Nepali as their first language. The big square map on the right is a map of London. I specifically picked 732 or more because it's at that point where the top 20 districts are revealed as having the most Nepali speakers as their first language at 733 or more speakers, and if you must know, here they are:

Rushmoor 5584
Greenwich 5058
Reading 2430
Brent 2342
Ealing 2302
Hounslow 2287
Shepway 2106
Ashford 1602
Hillingdon 1515
Harrow 1328
Swindon 1263
Maidstone 1227
Basingstoke and Deane 995
Bracknell Forest 988
Newham 915
Wiltshire 825
Richmondshire 819
Barnet 811
Surrey Heath 733

As you begin to bring down that number of 732, to say half i.e. 316, the map starts revealing the next set of districts where Nepali is spoken as a first or main language. You'll notice the districts (or areas) that were dark purple, are now included with the rest of dark blue coloured areas in the previous map. It's interesting to see where other Nepali speaking populations live in the UK, places like Colchester and Doncaster were surprises to me. See the interactive maps in my references later to hover over the maps I've created. It will reveal the area your mouse is pointing at together with the number of Nepali speakers.

No. of declared Nepali Speakers as their first and main language in England and Wales (Source: Census 2011) [2]

Looking at the heatmap below, taking this figure 316 and dropping it to where at least 18 people declared they speak Nepali as their first language, you see England and Wales covered in more dark blue patches. I picked 18 because that's where the top 50% of districts where at least 18 people declared they spoke Nepali as their first language, which really brings home how much of a minority many Nepali's are in their local communities.

No. of declared Nepali Speakers as their first and main language in England and Wales (Source: Census 2011) [3]

and finally just for a laugh, I thought I have a look to see where the odd lonely Nepali speaker is living. One lonely person on the Isle of Wight (laughing to myself). Notice the yellow patches, there are no Nepali speakers there, which makes me suspicious of that one patch in the middle of London.

No. of declared Nepali Speakers as their first and main language in England and Wales (Source: Census 2011) [4]

If you found that interesting, just say "I found that interesting" : - ). Personally I have no use for this information apart from fulfilling my curiosity and learning how to share information differently to view a different perspective on things. But for some of you, you probably want to do more with it, I hope this gives you a head start.


Interactive versions of the maps I posted above:
[1] 732 or more Nepali speakers:  http://www.openheatmap.com/view.html?map=QuadrienniumutileChronophersTectrices
[2] 361or more Nepali speakers: http://www.openheatmap.com/view.html?map=BiddingsForepolesCirrhopetalums
[3] 18 or more Nepali speakers:  http://www.openheatmap.com/view.html?map=DogmaUltraselectPrizewoman
[4] 2 or more Nepali speakers: http://www.openheatmap.com/view.html?map=NordgrensCaciliesMisbegins
[5] http://www.popscreen.com/v/65JUg/Omid-Djalili-Show-Polish-Plumber (Last Accessed: 02/04/2013)

Beef

I wonder sometimes why I don't just start eating beef. Beef tastes nice. What am I saying?

This thought arose when I had the unique opportunity a few weeks back (for me anyway) to attend a black tie dinner. The introvert in me was hesitant at first, I had never worn black tie, and when I last had the opportunity to 'dress up', I was casually wearing the classic 'job interview' suit at the uni ball - come on, I was a poor student! So this time I thought, "Well, I got asked to go for doing some good work, I'm working now, maybe it's about time I bought a black tie suit!" Dress classy, dance cheesy as Psy would say.

 ...incase you still haven't heard the song!

Confirming my attendance, I had to declare any allergies I may have, just in case one has a fit at the dinner table and asks for medical attention such as an allergic peanut reaction. In addition, I had to declare any dietary requirements. For as long I can remember, when the issue of allergies or diet came up, I seem to be automatically pre-programmed to write 'no beef', even it is just a school trip to the pond to catch dragonflies, a cow might just present itself to me!- "No beef!" As usual though, most of the time no one reads these details, and so sitting at the dinner table, placed in front of me was a fat juicy dense piece of beef. I kindly declined.

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cut out and keep when you next see your beef eating friends :-) [2]
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Am I a devout Hindu or Buddhist? No. Am I a Vegetarian? No. Am I concerned about BSE or any other animal to human transferable diseases? Not really. So why don't I just start eating beef? The truth is, boring at this may sound. I've just got used to not eating beef. It's a bit like smoking, never smoked in my life, I see no particular reason why I should start now when there are [healthier] alternatives.

Admittedly, I have eaten beef.

As criminal as that might sound, those occasions have been rare, when I did not inadvertently know otherwise or didn't have a choice, so rare I could probably list them:

• Whilst working at a well known furniture chain in the UK, and possibly the world (you know who they are), I used to spend my lunch times eating their famous meatballs. I was convinced they were pork, but later realised they mixed them with beef.
• I was staying at a mates place once, he had already started cooking lunch, turned out minced beef was included.
• I don't know anyone who has not fallen for this, the McDonald’s hamburger, I swear ham means pork, it means f*cking pork I tell you! I remember checking the dictionary to check it was still ok to eat hamburgers. Even my dad, a fairly devout Nepali Hindu, fell for this when he first came to the UK, apparently he ate quaterpounders over the course of a year, and some fellow Nepali told him it was beef. I could imagine the look on his face.
• On a school trip to France, on one evening, beef was on the menu, I told the teacher I didn't want to eat beef (it was written on the allergy form!), they told the kitchen staff, but no one returned so I just ate the salad. Yes, I was still hungry :-(

So that's me and beef, I call that 'Beef Tolerance - Level 1', - forbidden by your parents/guardians to eat beef, but would still eat it, when a) your life depends on it, b) when you don't have a choice, c) when you just didn't know, as in they'll tell you it's pork, chicken, rabbit, squirrel etc, but who ever made the meat is not legally obliged to tell you there is beef in them. Also if you know there's beef in front of you, and you have the option to eat something else, you will 90% of the time eat what else is on offer.

Beef Tolerance - Level 0 is hardcore, this is when you'll get deeply offended when beef is presented to you. This is people like my parents, and any full-time Hindu or Buddhist or any other religion that doesn't allow the eating of living things. Just not having none of it. Hell, you probably won't even eat pork, or any other meat. No convincing. That's fine, that's the moral code you choose.

These posters really do my head in now, that I want to burn every single one [2].

Beef Tolerance - Level 3 is at the opposite end, though not extreme, maybe just in the eyes of some Level 0's. These folks just openly eat beef, no objections of course, it's a free world. Infact, anyone who is naive to think every Nepali doesn't eat beef, is not living a reality. Royalty is dead and so is the propaganda.

Beef Tolerance - Level 2 are like Level 1's, but they will actually not hesitate to eat beef even if given a choice, except it has to be behind closed doors or with close friends. But perhaps in front of their family or peers - they will not even dare! On one hand they'll be Level 3's - just eat it, and then on the other, Level 0's refute any such behaviour. Who are these people? Excerpts from the university of life:

- A Hindu family (deliberately not specifying any race here) I knew that fed hamburgers to their kids and Hindu guests on their son's birthday. One kid asks for a chicken burger instead, but was not allowed..lol.

- Foreign students new to the UK discover the power of McDonalds, and the persuasive price of the hamburger. Eat one of these and you've made it!

- "Beef is everywhere, it's not a Nepali cow" ... I'm not sure how to argue with this. Though, plenty have survived thirty years plus choosing not to eat beef...mmm...

I feel I have more to say, but I'll leave it there for now. The status quo continues..."No Beef".

What's your beef story?


[1] http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/62/British_Beef_Cuts.svg/400px-British_Beef_Cuts.svg.png
[2] http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-no-beef-1.png

Hajmola - Love it or Hate it?

Humans need to eat, but as we're all different we all have different tastes and therefore we like to eat some foods and not others. We sometimes might not prefer to eat some foods but given a choice we'd rather not, for example you are presented with a cup of coffee when visiting somewhere but thinking you would rather have tea, you drink the coffee anyway out of politeness. Some foods though clearly don't have this middle ground tolerance, your body will accept it graciously or reject it like an allergic reaction.

Pooh would!

Yes, as the clue in the title suggests, I am talking about Hajmola. If you have no idea what Hajmola is, you should be able to find them in any local Indian groceries store. It is tablet usually eaten after a meal that offers to control digestion and flatulence (between you and me, that means 'farting'). Millions of these tablets get churned out from Dabur, India, and plenty of people around the world enjoy taking a Hajmola for that preventative step towards reducing indigestion and related diseases.

Hajmola - the cure to farting!

I suprisingly saw a bottle of Hajmola tucked away on my living room bookshelf, the Mrs confirmed to eating the stuff. I asked, "How did Hajmola end up in our house? They taste horrible!" (- a reference to when I was in Nepal in 1999, I was offered to try one by a cousin while in the vicinity of Pashupatinath Temple, I spat the the thing straight out, and everyone and all the locals turned around like I had committed a crime - an embarrassing scene. It tasted so vile at the time, I couldn't contain myself, it was like a bee sting in the mouth. I think I may have upset the gods.)


Thirteen years later, I'm told,  "They [Hajmolas] taste different now, they come in different flavours too, Imli, Pudina and Lime. Try this Imli one."

Not entirely convinced, I bravely open the lid of the bottle. I bring the open bottle towards my nostrils and give it a quick sniff - like a police dog, enough to not warrant the tablets as something suspicious.

Giving it a third thought, I thought to myself, "Nooo, they really taste different now? Well, it has sure been a while. If Snickers used to be called Marathon and still live on, Hajmola is within a chance."

Hajmola tablet - in the mouth you go and back out you come.

No kidding, if fart came in tablet form, it is Hajmola (ironically). I tried, I really did, but I spat the thing straight into the nearest sensible place. Maybe another thirteen years Hajmola when maybe I might start losing my taste buds.

Do check this guy out on Youtube. He has started a Hajmola Challenge. The challenge is to chew not one, but ten Hajmola's in one go, chew them, and swallow them comfortably in 90 seconds. Can this guy do it? Funnily, in the 2 years since that was posted, no one has challenged him! and I am not surprised! :-)

Hajmola. Love it? or Hate it?

This has reminded me, it's been a looooong time I've tried Marmite.

Peace.

P.S. Why anyone would want to is beyond my wildest imagination, but Hajmola's do carry an overdose warning. Irritation to the stomach they say [1].

[1] http://www.dabur.com/Export-Health%20Care-Hajmola

Gold: protect your heritage.

Judging by my past posts, when Dashain is around the corner, I get the itch to blog, so here I go again!

"Eye spy, with my little eye, something beginning with G."

In the Nepali world, it seems most men know very little about gold before he is married, except being an expensive metal. And particularly if their partner is Nepali or South Asian in origin, they find out just how much their partner 'loves' jewellery, but there is more to it than that. I haven't owned or wore a single piece of jewellery until I was twenty-four (maybe I have no class, some may say) when I passed my masters degree. I tried it on, but didn't feel the appeal and left it with my parents. Six years later, even right now as I type this, I'm wearing no jewellery, not even my wedding ring - mainly out of fear of losing it as I seem to have become skinner in the last few years! But that's my choice, no disrespect to you if you wish to bling yourself out.

"I pity the fool"

So what have I learnt about gold since getting hitched? Many things. Firstly no matter how much you detest a woman's admiration for jewellery, the 'worship' of gold has a deep cultural significance in peoples from South, Central, East Asian heritage. From the worship to the goddess of wealth, Lakshmi in Hindu culture, 'golden skin' of Buddha in Buddhism to the use of gold as a 'protection' in the absence of a husband, gold symbolises more than the face value of gold itself. That I can appreciate, and often the gold is inherited, and so carries sentimental value. However, recently,  I've started to question folks (not literally but in my thoughts) that are routinely buying gold and/or 'hoarding' on to it. Though I think there is nothing wrong with it, as some spend their money on diamonds, shares, artwork, whatever, I worry about how safe people keep these valuable items.

Before I go on, if people think I shouldn't be here raising attention to jewellery held by Nepali's and other communities, then sorry I just did. In fact, it's not exactly a secret either. Under our noses, I know people personally who have had their house's robbed and left devastated with their loss. Criminals are getting smarter with gold metal detectors and know what communities are hoarding expensive items. But at the same time, home owners are not being very savvy in looking after their precious items. Since the recession, particularly this year, there have been a spate of robberies which you can read here, here and here, and there are no signs of successful robberies going down. But what can you do about surviving a robbery if it happens to you?

To begin, ask yourself:

- If your gold disappeared the next day without your knowledge, how would you feel?

-  Could you afford to replace the monetary/sentimental value?

-  Can you prove you own the jewellery, if say the police or your insurance asked?

If some of those questions, make you feel uneasy, then maybe it's time to think how to protect your jewellery? (I just realised I'm talking like an insurance salesman, this is weird as I hate sales people, difference is I'm not taking your money and it's honestly for your own good :-). There are FREE (yes, free) things you can do to make those robbers life a misery.

1) Don't put all your jewellery in a single cupboard or at the bottom of a chest of drawers. I know it's convenient but you're just asking for it. The items you don't wear that often, maybe their better placed way out of reach. Spread them around a bit, waste these f*cking robbers their robbing time.

2) Related to the above, think about places where people wouldn't normally go, perhaps a loft? A hidden safe? Even if you have hidden it well out of reach, if a robber has a detector and found your jewellery, how hard would it be to access and walk out of the house? Test your idea with a close one or someone you trust.

3) Check the strength of your door and windows. Lots of houses get robbed this way because people forget to shut windows. If you have double glazing, some have in locks them. Lock them when you go out. If you rent, ask your landlord about obvious faults. It's your right to have them fixed. See here.

3) Keep all your receipts for your gold jewellery in one place. If you don't have receipts, as jewellery might be gifts or were bought aboard, take photos of ALL your jewellery. Keep all receipts and photos somewhere safe, a locked cabinet file would be ideal. For the extra paranoid, photocopy all your receipts and photos and keep a copy at another property you trust. After all, if your house gets robbed, anything could happen. Pressure cookers can be made into bombs these days, you know?

4) Get your jewellery valued. Ok this one is unfair, I'm making you spend money, but if you bought your jewellery items some time ago, have you ever wondered how much your gold jewellery is worth now? Have a look at the rise in gold price in the last twenty years, it is worth thinking about.  Let's say you bought 11g of gold in 2002, looking at the charge, that would have cost you £6 x 11 = £66. In 2012, with the gold price floating around £35 per gram, that same 11g of gold is now worth £35 x 11 = £361. That's about six times as much you paid for it in 2002.

Gold Price between 1992 - 2012 - not a bad investment in 2005.

Also, your home insurance will pay you if the inevitable happens, and you'll definitely get back what they're worth today, than what you paid, 5, 10 or 20 years ago. I would recommend doing this also if you don't have receipts and want some piece of mind on the gold purity. As a guide a decent jeweller would charge 0.5%-1% per item. So indirectly I'm saving you a lot of money and giving you peace of mind!

5) Check, double check and triple check you ACTUALLY have home insurance and if you do check that they can insure high value items. So many times I hear people's stuff getting stolen for them to later realise they didn't have insurance or their insurance didn't cover the items involved in the theft. For a lot of insurance providers, you have to declare items more than £1500, but there are some (such as Endsleigh) where you don't have to, just as long the value of the items doesn't exceed the amount of cover you're after. So say you wanted £40,000 worth of cover, and you have something worth £20,000, then in principle they should cover it if that £20,000 item goes missing. Again, check, check, check. For the extra paranoid, check the terms and conditions yourself, and get important things said over the phone in writing to you or get them to point to the relevant paragraph in their small print. If you find these things difficult, find someone with experience who can help. It can be time consuming checking every detail.

If you done those five things, then give yourself a pat on the back. You can be confident that if your possessions go missing, you won't go out of pocket. The next steps involve spending some money and thinking about physical security, especially if you care about the sentimental side of your jewellery. Here are some of my random ideas:

6) Get a house alarm installed. Test it.

7) Get a safe. Test it

8) Get CCTV - personally not a fan of this, unless you live in a mansion. 

9) Get a pet - they can 'feel' like a deterent.

10) Get a Bahadur. Kidding - they should be in school!

Lastly, with whatever mechanisms and ideas you put in place, please don't give any clues to people wouldn't normally trust where your valued possessions are. I kid you not, this is a true story. I know a landlady, who had some students lodging at her house, then one day she went to her private place to manage her gold jewellery. Next day, everything was stolen, twenty-thousands worth to be precise. It was like her life savings she had collected for the past thirty years. Turns out, one of the lodgers saw her go to this secret place, and did the damage when the landlady was out.

Don't let it happen to you!

So, there you go, a sharing some experience of gold, not very glamourous, but for the wider good. I also found out what a 'tola' actually is. People still swear by this measure for gold weight. Seen as I know what a gram is as I used to bake cakes at school, here is a basic conversion to put things in perspective:

1 Nepali tola = 11.66375g

Happy Dashain

Further Reading: www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jan/31/gold-theft-asian-families

No sports, study, but oh look at David Beckham.

Make a note in your diary: 10:00am to 10:23am (GMT), Friday 3rd August 2012, Why? Read on.


The diamond Jubilee is over, millions of £££ spent to allow(!) Cheryl Cole sing to the Queen, the UK now turns it's attention to sports to make up for it. Yawwwn :-O some of you might think - a lot of you have no interest in sports, but now the England Football Team are playing in Euro 2012, and the Olympics are on our door step, there will be no getting away! However, there is a lot of goodness that comes out watching sports, you see how the professionals execute their best, pushing the human body to the limit. From time to time I wonder about my own sporting experience, how my parents (and society) didn't particularly encourage me to go further in sports, and how more successful Nepali sportswomen and men (see what I did there) who have broken the social norm's have played out (unintentional pun) their sporting passions.

Hate Sports? There is a society for that, and they really hate sports!

Firstly, to the set the scene, I would have regarded myself as a good football player when I was in primary school and secondary school, my natural position was in either defence or right wing.  For some reason, I was never effective as a striker, I seemed to always run back too far to stop the ball going too near my team's half, hanging around at the top waiting for the ball was just not my thing. I needed to know what was going on up field and be ready to make the heroic 'Sol Campbell' tackle[1] to prevent the other team from scoring. My pace wasn't too bad either, as well as good at chasing strikers, I was effective at creating space on the wing and legging it down the outside towards the corner flag to finally whip one in for the boys waiting in the box. So yes, I was good ;), I hardly ever got picked last when it came to P.E. (Physical Education or Sports) lessons and I played football, representing secondary school every year (I secretly liked rounders too because I was a bad ass* at throwing and getting the opposing team out; for some reason it's more of a 'girly' sport now, sigh). To top that, I was attending martial art classes on Monday and Wednesday evenings throughout my secondary school years. I surprise myself now how active I was back then, a different story with todays school kids (so I hear): crisps and coke cans for breakfast, PlayStations instead of Park-Swings [2], face-booking instead face-to-face and Bey-Blades whatever the hell they are), maybe its just the media portraying kids like terrorists. 


Either way, no matter how much I enjoyed taking part in a variety of sports, it all seemed to go down hill towards the end of school. Some of my school friends use to play for a local club, and they use to always say, "You should come to our practice sessions, we need good players like you". But my parents would say, "No, it's dark outside, we don't want you going out after five-thirty." I didn't understand the logic, but despite the disappointment being an obedient child I just obeyed. As for my martial arts, I did well in the 4 years I trained, but I gradually kept on skipping lessons before leaving all together until I moved away to uni. Apart from the occasional kick about in the park, the rare gym appearances and morning jog, I had pretty much spent my twenties not participating in anything regular. It seems to happen to the best of us, and whilst we cheer on the Michael Phelps, Usain Bolts and Jennifer Enniss of this world, take a moment and bow down to the Nepali sportswomen and sportsmen who despite the lack of facilities and pressures of society to go to work or education (or even just abscond Nepal), make it to the Olympics and remain faithful to their nation and sporting discipline.


This Summer at the London 2012 Olympics, look out for a Miss Shreya Dhital, she will be participating in the 50m freestyle swimming heats (first stage). As far as I know, she is Nepal's National record holder for the 50m butterfly, currently standing at 34.75 secs [3]. The current world record for 50m freestyle is 23.75secs [4], so competition is likely to be tough but I wish Shreya the best in London and don't forget if I am correct, you'll see Shreya between 10:00am to 10:23am (GMT), Friday 3rd August 2012 probably on BBC 1 ( but check your Olympics TV schedule). There will be other Nepali participants taking part in Table Tennis, Weight Lifting and maybe some others sports too, but I can't track their names :-( They are training at Kent University so if anyone knows any more, do let me know.

Shreya Dhital - this is for real, it's a Nepali at the Olympics! Namaste :-)

So what's the moral of this post? If your good at something, whether it's a sport, a field of study, hobby, whatever it is big or small, stick with it. I have no regrets for my sporting choices. If I was a smarter kid, maybe I could have found a way to get those extra football sessions, and found a way to carry on with martial arts. Maybe with some motivation or inspiration from somewhere I could have gone further, but that's just life, I got distracted, found other priorities and moved on. A decade or so later, I've now returned to martial arts, and take part in any sporting activity that is going on with my various social groups. It feels great from a social perspective as well my personal well being. So if you're reading this, wondering whether you should go hit the football field, wrestling mat, basketball court, swimming pool, etc, what is stopping you? Hard work perhaps, but then everything requires hard work. No one will be complaining when you're like Miss Shreya Dhital when she is able to command 15,000 Nepali Rupees for breaking the National Records. So get out there, make your dreams happen! :-)


My best wishes to all Olympic hopefuls.




[1] Sol Campbell's never ending tackle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYN7Vgn924c
[2] Admittingly, I do have a Playstation, it was fun at first but now it has just become an expensive bluray player. I had a NES too when I was 8 years old - but I did my school homework first (that's one for another time).
[3] http://www.khelkud.com/2011/08/shreya-dhital-won-11-golds-and-national.html
[4] http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/olympics/2012/sports/swimming/events/womens-50m-freestyle
* bad ass means 'good' in slang.

The Value of Money

I think I deserve a few slaps (or lut-tee hits) on the wrist, first for not writing any posts and secondly for leaving it for too long. I'm hearing through the grapevines, people like my 'alternative, up-front' viewpoints. Someone even said, I could be classed as 'The Times' amongst the Brit-Nepali blogging community (as opposed to the Daily Mail usual trash). Maybe a long way to go until I get the 'The Times' knocking at my door, but each to their own, here goes another gentle blog.

The other day, I checked my bank account and I noticed I have £5.23 to survive for the rest of the month. Peanuts you might say, but in fact I feel OK. That's right, I feel content with £5.23 right now. I know I've covered my spending for this month and I don't intend on going on any spending binge in the next 7 days. There is always the evil credit card if something comes up, but lets 'try' not to go down that road -  I will just survive until the next pay packet appears.

Working for peanuts to feed the monkeys.

Unfortunately however, for some, having that amount just doesn't seem to see the light of day. Seeing £5.23 in their account signifies something entirely different altogether - a call to participate in some nefarious clandestine money making activity.* Sure I would like to have more money, but there just never seems to be enough of it - funny that. "But hey, not to worry, I'm going to sneakingly get it out of YOU instead!" I have no desire to dip into my minuscule savings nor have I the desire to ask my family, friends, sell my daily possessions, borrow, cheat or manipulate people to get additional funds. At the end of the day, it's my fault I have £5.23 in my account, what I spent my money on yesterday and what I will spend on today, tomorrow or in one years time, is down to me; not my family, friends or what 'society' has told me to spend my money on. If I can't afford something that I should have bought when I was able to, then that's my fault too. Just tough - smash the piggy bank open when it gets full.

Save or the pig gets it!

So what's my point? Well, it seems lately, I say lately, I mean in the last 5 years, since I've been working full-time, I've been taken for a mug for other people's mis-management of finances and their general lack of appreciation for the value of money. Yes sad face :-(. I've been duped into the game of lending people money for situations they've got themselves involved in, buying into their sob story and given promise of having the favor returned. It's easy to say when hearing about such a situation that I shouldn't buy into it, but when you're approached for money it's very easy to get sucked in; in that if you didn't help you would be left with a guilty conscience. This becomes worse when relatives get involved, it can become damaging and get awkward if not dealt with in the right way.

I know I'm not the only one experiencing this, I seem to hear countless stories like this all the time and I always think how dumb are these people to let these things happen to them. And there's me falling for the same tricks in these stories I hear. We'll always hear stuff like this as long there is another person willing to hand over his or her hard earned cash over. However, thankfully (which I say in the nicest weird possible way) I have been a victim of two such encounters, where in hindsight I should have just said no or offered an alternative solution. Fortunately I've only seen the smoke and not been burnt enough to see the fire (if that makes sense), but I've heard far far worse, so I count myself lucky. 

Today I'm going to share my extortion experiences to:

a) just get it off my chest
b) understand to readers what it's like from the person that lends the money.
c) understand to the cheating borrowers that don't keep to their word you have no respect and cannot be trusted when you cross paths with your lender.

A caveat is my experiences are with people who are not exactly poor, they have access to money if they asked for it or took an alternative path, but instead they choose to knock on people's door to start the exploitation process and have no intention of paying me back. Another thing is, what has this got to do with Nepal, Brit/Nepal, Brits? Not a lot really, this happens in every society, but Nepal being a poor nation with mostly poor citizens, it's inevitable some poor people will try their tricks, but it's not just the poor, it's ordinary and wealthy citizens who are at it too, maybe more than we want and care to admit and it's these folks I want to target.

My first experience as gullible lender was with someone who racked up a massive phone bill, I mean massive - started out as a few hundred pounds (which is already too much) later turned into a four-figure sum. They knew they were passed their contract allowance, but the person thought they would get away with it if they ignored paying the bill. Soon did they realised this wasn't the case, and they had the mobile operator ringing up on a daily basis asking to pay up. But the person kept on fobbing them off and routinely ignored their calls. It came to the point the mobile operator was going to bring in the bailiffs if it wasn't paid. I gave into this, and helped them out. I wasn't exactly loaded at the time, in fact everything I earned over the summer was wiped out, which I was hoping to pay off an overdraft which I had planned on paying off after my summer job.

Hello? Is this the billing department? Yeah? Well. Bleep! Bleep!

My second and last experience was with a person, who I should have been more assertive with. We were both on holiday to a certain destination to see relatives, we had planned to stay a certain length of time, and that was always the intention. However it turned out this person wanted to stay longer (for selfish reasons). I was reluctant at first because we had planned (and budgeted) to spend more time at this person's home city and we would need to fly back. After a while I said to this person, I would call the flight operator to see how much it would cost to change the ticket times, and then we would make a decision then - in case it was too expensive. After talking to the flight operator, the operator said it would cost $100 each to change the flight times to a later date. The person got all emotional about wanting to stay and they promised they would pay me back, so being the gullible lender, I gladly obliged to extend the stay.

Borrowers - feel the pain.

To this day, 5 years after both incidents I haven't been paid back a penny nor have I had neither person attempt to get in touch with me about paying back. Even it was £1 a week, it's a start. I don't get bitter about it because if I couldn't afford it, I would have never offered to pay for their cause in the first place. Like I said earlier, what I spend my money on, even if that's lending to someone else, that's still my fault.

Other weird experiences I've had, but stood my ground, is one guy rang my family for £2000 for no real reason - "I just need it". The phone was passed to me to deal with, and I had to politely say that no one here has that sort of money (which is the truth) and they disappeared for a while - I later found out he managed to get the money from someone I knew, and took them about 3 years to pay it all back. But you never really get the full truth with these things. Just Unbelievable.

Only last week, someone else wanted money for their visa fee. Again, remember, people that I've had to deal with are generally with people with access to money and just trying to be clever. This guy I know works, and gets a nice lump sent to him from mother and father every month. What's funny is, I'm told he's been asking a lot of people, and they have basically said, "No", and he's trying to get through to me, but it seems the word has got round that I'm not an easy fish to deal with, and he tends to convince other people that know me to ask me on his behalf. I'm a genius!

So the moral of the story, most times, lending money is just asking for trouble. So be careful. Really understand what the reason is, and the likely-hood of being paid back. I've learnt most times, money is not the problem.

And to you folks who have borrowed money and have never paid it back, if you have any remorse, think about your lenders. They had the heart to take what they earned and save your day. To your lender it's not always the money, it's the principle.

Ever get shafted? Or are you shafting someone right now? Feel free to share your story. You can comment anonymously too.

Peace.**

* I wrote everything before the asterisk about 7 days before the end of May 2012. Now it's June 2012 and I have more than £5.23 in my account, and yes I'll be typically British and not tell you how much I earn...it's ruuuude! :-)

**Sorry, bit serious and somber this post, I'm keeping in mood in line with England's 2012 performance expectations this summer.

Macha Pani Ma Update: The fish are on holiday except one - I need to give him or her a name.

Cousins don't exist.

Dasai has arrived and it's that time of the year to visit family and friends we know and also those relatives who we don't know or are just too far in the family tree, but just knock on the front door and appear at your house out of nowhere.

Nonetheless, I'm fortunate to have ALOT of relatives, mainly living in Nepal, but also in other parts of the world including the UK and USA. And it ceases to amaze me how many middle aged men and women I've had to refer to as Uncle and Auntie or some random stranger as 'dai' or 'didi'. Being a member of the Asian race, it's something you get accustomed to. Everyone is your brother or sister : - ) (except your wife or husband. Even my mum used to call her parents didi, dai (older sister and older brother). It's weird. There is just no saying who's your brother or where a certain family member fits in the family tree, maybe it's not worth us knowing - controversial subject ;)

I'll give you a recent example that made me think. I was at a wedding a few years ago, in London, UK. A nice small low key wedding for close family members. The brides and groom's families hadn't met before and so during the reception (after the ceremony), someone from the brides side (they were European) suggested everyone from the grooms side introduce themselves and their relation to the groom. So the queue went round and it came to me, and I said, "I'm so and so, and I'm his cousin, his mother and my mother are sisters". I made it clear my relation to the groom. But then about 10 other male relatives say the following in turn:

"I'm X, and I'm his brother."
"I'm Y, and I am his brother."
.
. ( yes you get the idea)
.
...and I'm Z, and funnily enough I'm also his brother."

When the groom has one real brother, how do you explain to a bunch of Europeans, who's the real brother? I know it's a cultural thing, but what's so hard about saying our exact relationship to somebody? Do we not want to come across as less important or too distant? Maybe it's just too complicated to explain what the relation is. Fear not, help is at hand, hopefully the following might be of assistance.

Unless you live in some authoritarian society, a little inquisitiveness can do no harm and a lot of great. I did some fact finding on cousin relationships on Wikipedia[1] and how you're meant to formally describe the more complicated family ties. It was all new to me, but did you know if your cousin (no not your brother or sister...lol) has a child, then that child is actually also referred to as your cousin. Well almost, as you shall see there is a correct way of describing that relationship. The way to describe that relationship you have with that relative you seem to always pass ships with is explained in the chart below.

European Kinship System - Timro bo ko ho? [1]

The system uses the idea of "degrees" and "removed" to exactly describe the relationship. So going back to the example I mentioned earlier, your cousin's child is your 'first cousin once removed'. So, using the chart, see if you can work out the correct relationship in the descriptions below (answers will be in my next blog post).

So when it's your turn to describe your relation to the relative that magically appears at this time of the year, you can be a smart ass and tell them how it is : - )

1. Your Mother and your relative's Father are siblings.


2. Your grandfathers sister.


3. Your Uncle's grand-daughter.


4. Your second cousin's son.


5. Your great Aunt's great great great great grandson (Tough).


On a final note, in reality I wouldn't use the exact terms in this kinship system but I think it's helpful just to be clearer to folks that don't know you. Now if I've got you intrigued in all this cousin relation stuff, I recommend you take a read of the article over on Wikipedia [2], lots of talk about double cousins and inbreeding!

Anyway, happy holidays didi, bhaini's and dai's, bhai's (if you pardon the pun).


[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin[2]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:European_kinship_system_en.svg